I still remember that it started 5 years ago on a bright sunny day. I was slacking at the old campus 1 canteen with fellow Guides committee members, when Sanah came up to us and broke the news.

“We’ve an invitation from Shadows Scouts to join their Venture Training Camp. Anyone interested? I’ll need a confirmation by next week.” Sanah announced.

I looked around me and saw some gleaming eyes filled with excitement, but none uttered a single word. All was silent except ME. I proclaimed myself in for the camp.

Throughout the whole week, one after another, my fellow Guides said that they could not make it for the camp. Finally, I was the only one in my batch to sign up. Though disheartened, I told myself, “I will join, so that if my fellow Guides changed their minds, they could join me.” True enough, 9 of my juniors (one year younger than me) signed up for the camp. We had great fun together. I was 15 that year. I did not join Shadows after that camp.

The following year was filled with activities (excluding the already “exciting” Os), from training camp to campfire to combined activities with Monfort Scouts. I was 16 that year. I did not join any Scouts unit.

On the first week of year 2004, I went back to MF to see my Guides CCA Orientation. By chance, I was informed of the YA Induction that was to be held few weeks later at Guide House. Having not the slightest clue on what I will be going through, I attended the YA Induction. Again, I went alone with the thought, “I will go, so that if my fellow Guides changed their minds, they could join me.” True enough, on the day of YA Renewal of Promise, I was able to persuade XueYing and Sanah to join YA as Unit Helpers. Together, we donned on our YA uniform and attended UH and BTC camp. We spent time to train our girls, and by the end of the year, we were warranted Guiders. Despite our busy schedules (I’m in poly and XueYing and Sanah in JC), we would make arrangements to attend every Friday Guides’ meeting. Our girls benefited from the knowledge we had taught them and that always makes me smile. I was 17 that year. I did not join any Scouts unit, even though Peiwen and I have friends from SP Rovers.

[My friends asked me why am I always so busy with my Guides stuffs, haven’t I already graduated? Is it really worth the while? I was a youth, and should have done what other youths are doing – have fun with friends. Isn’t that so? My reply was always simple – It’s worthwhile knowing your girls have benefited from what you’ve contributed. Volunteerism is about self-giving, love is about self-sacrifice. I love what I’m doing and I volunteered for it.]

Year 2005 was a great year for me, both studies and Guides. I got into the course I wanted and for Guides, I’ve done some quality work. I managed to rope some friends into YA that year. I was made the Chairperson for Program in the YA Council. Together with Sanah, XueYing and May, we planned the training camp for that year, held at the new campus. Lucky for us, we managed to rope in fellow graduated Guides and our friends as resource personnel for the camp. We made time to discuss about the activities and made the camp compulsory for all our girls. The camp was a success. It was also the graduating event for Sanah and XueYing (they graduated from YAUH that year). After the camp, I made the new committee undergo COH at Guide House, at least once per month on a Saturday morning. We discussed on campfire, farewell, amazing race, weekly meetings, etc. I thought them the proper way a COH was to be held and the importance of documentation. We had campfire and held amazing race for the north division schools. Many thanks to our Guiders and Mdm Mas for their guidance and support. Holding an event under the name of ‘North Division’ wasn’t an easy feat. I had to do a lot of liaising. At that point in time, I was the only YAUH attached to MFGG. A lot of issue I’ve to make decisions myself after weighing the pros and cons again and again. All this while, issues in YAC/HQ was draining my energy, day by day. The only times I was happy as a YA was when I was with my girls – training time. Luckily for me, I had a group of energetic Sec 3 girls who supported me, both communications and admin wise. I joined NDP as Contingent 2i/c and Peiwen was one of the helpers. I was 18 that year. I was happy being a YA.

[Being a leader of MFGG is a lonely affair, without any support, or anyone to discuss matters with. It takes a lot of courage to be in this position. And of course, PASSION for Guiding.]

I was badly traumatized in year 2006, both personal and Guiding. YAC/HQ was full of politics. Studies were a land slide. Emotionally unstable. With all these factors, I re-focus on my studies. Despite the lack of activity in Guiding, I had constantly kept myself abreast of all the activities in MFGG. When needs arose, I would popped out and help solve the problem. The only event I had helped out was campfire. I was 19 that year. I was sick and tired of the politics in YAC.

[Being in YAC made me realized that I wasn’t that influential after all. There were so many issues which I’ve came up with solutions and yet, due to politics, I could put it through. I knew my solutions would benefit the YAs enrolment in the long run, but all they said was, “we could change just like that.” I realized I had no power to challenge politics.]

In year 2007, I stepped down from my duties in YAC, but was invited to sit in as an adviser. Having no real power, I was freed of the politics in YAC/HQ. I graduated from Poly in early Feb. By chance, I was invited by Lester/MF Scouts to join Dreams 5 as an expedition leader. Again, it started with me alone. My belief which I’ve always trusted came to me, “I will join, so that if my fellow Guides changed their minds, they could join me.” True enough, 3 brave girls joined this service. All this while, Lester and Yew Choon had been trying to recruit me into Rovers. However, my thoughts stayed unwavered. My loyalty is with MFGG. Though there had been times when I felt that I was not as well- trained as the Rovers, I had come to terms with my weakness and justified them with my strengths. Through the collaboration with the Rovers, I had learnt a lot of PR skills and felt enriched innerly. I was 20 that year. I had chosen YA over Rover.

[Many years ago, when given a choice between Rovers and YAs, I’ve chosen to be a YA. I knew it was a path less trodden on. I knew it would be difficult. I knew I had given up a chance for more personal development as compared to Rovers. I knew I had to be strong. I knew I had to be independent. I knew I had to make decisions. I knew I would be lonely at times. I knew I would be frustrated at times. But all in all, I knew I had chosen to answer God’s call of duty, a call to give back to where I had once benefited from. Along the way, I might have been disheartened or disappointed by certain issues, but seeing my girls grow, from a timid, introvert Sec 1 girl to a loud, cheerful young lady has truly gave me a great sense of satisfaction. In each girl, I see a reflection of my younger self. In each girl, I see the potential of a full-grown butterfly. From the day I went back to serve, I knew very clearly that all my butterflies would leave me one day. All I asked for is a chance to protect them during their cocoon days and teach them how to fly. I would not compare between Rover and YA, simply because the only difference is where the loyalty lies. This year marks my 5th year as a YA. When asked “what are your reservations that holds you back from joining Rovers?” My answer is simple – TIES. Can you cut off family ties with your family members as and when you like it? Yes. I will join Rovers one day, when I managed to cut off ALL ties with my girls, when I forsake my roots, when I can receive without thinking of returning. When that day comes, will Rovers take me in? I think not. One of the most important phrases I have come to understand is – when you gain some, you lose some.]

It Does Not Matter Whether You Have Influenced ALL Your Girls In A Positive Way. But If One Little Girl Had Benefited From Your Teachings, YOU HAVE SUCCEEDED!

Wow! Realised I haven been blogging for ONE FULL WEEK!! OMG! That's so so scary.. Especially for the all-time gossip lover like me.. Hmm.. Issit the lack of humour in my life? Or the lack of gossip to spread? Neither!

我是有道德的人!

WHAT BULLSHIT?!

Bt honestly, I figured out that it's not ethical to blog during office hours (nw's office time)..

Anyway, I've so many stuffs on my mind nw that I dunno where to start blogging from.. I've to blog abt camp, followed by night out wif JW, and so many more which I can't blog.. To blog is easy.. Bt the reading-through is tough.. I've to delete away issues which might hurt my frenz.. It's brain-crashing.. Argh!! Kill me!! Haha..

Maybe I'll blog from hm tonite.. Haha.. Shall see.... (*,*)